Notes on the difficulty of translating poetry



Michael Szpakowski



In the first part of the last century two American linguists, Edward Sapir and Benjamin Lee Whorf, suggested that the language we are born into and grow up speaking conditions our thinking.
They put the case for this quite strongly. Here's Sapir in 1929
1 :

'Human beings do not live in the objective world alone, nor alone in the world of social activity as ordinarily understood, but are very much at the mercy of the particular language which has become the medium of expression for their society. It is quite an illusion to imagine that one adjusts to reality essentially without the use of language and that language is merely an incidental means of solving specific problems of communication or reflection'

and his student, Whorf, in 1940:

'We dissect nature along lines laid down by our native languages. The categories and types that we isolate from the world of phenomena we do not find there because they stare every observer in the face; on the contrary, the world is presented in a kaleidoscopic flux of impressions which has to be organized by our minds - and this means largely by the linguistic systems in our minds.'

This notion has passed into legend, into urban myth – it pops up all over the place. Everyone's heard of the Inuit peoples' 20 or 30 or 50 words for different kinds of snow – the only problem being these don't exist
2 - and some years ago I heard the claim that certain Native American languages were more "natural" languages in which to talk about particle physics because of their unique verb forms. (The delightful image springs to mind here of a physicist who has spent years mastering the massively difficult and abstruse mathematics necessary for her trade learning a new language in order to reduce the strain of discussing physics)

Popular distortions aside, a few minutes thought suggests that Sapir/Whorf at least in its strong form, implying the impossibility of both effective translation and second language learning is actually a load of old tosh, showing once again that there is often no-one so stupid as the very clever.

It certainly is the case that different languages set different limits on items of vocabulary – the borderlines between colour terms vary in many languages.
Nevertheless this is nothing that a bit of compounding won't cure – blue-green, a-very-reddish-orange; or snow-that-has-previously-melted-and-refrozen, for one of our hypothetical snow terms, perhaps.
It's also blindingly obvious that although societies and cultures differ in detail, many basic human activities and needs are universal, as indeed is the body, its parts and its functions, and that this provides a pretty good basis for mutual comprehensibility/translatability.

Having said all this I want to argue that there is an area of literature where Sapir/Whorf is pretty much on the money and this is poetry.

In 1992 I started learning Hungarian from a self-instruction manual. In 2004 this is still a work in progress – I can read the ads on the Budapest metro and even spot the puns, but I'm hard put to have more than a halting conversation with a cab driver.
Early on in my studies though, actually in my textbook itself, I came across a poem by Attila József (József Attila in Hungarian, where the surname comes first) that took my breath away.
Here it is:


Tedd a kezed
homlokomra,
mintha kezed
kezem volna.

Úgy őrizz, mint
ki gyilkolna,
mintha éltem
élted volna.

Úgy szeress, mint
ha jó volna,
mintha szívem
szíved volna.


A literal translation of this would be:


Put your hand on my brow
As if your hand were my hand

Guard me as if someone wanted to murder me
As if my life were your life.

Love me as if this were good
As if my heart were your heart


and this certainly captures all the conceptual content of the poem – there is no meaning beyond this that could be expressed in supplementary words or glosses (unlike, say, much classical Japanese poetry where often the whole effect hinges on complex puns which require detailed explication for a foreign reader) but had this been an English poem it seems to me that it would be touching, but not great in any way, perhaps merely just about rising above the high class greeting card.
What transforms the poem from the good to the great is not so much what he tells but the way he tells it.
The way the poet makes Hungarian grammar, rhyme and scansion work seamlessly and effortlessly together to neuter sentiment or banality and ultimately, to move us deeply…

Firstly the metre.
In Hungarian all syllables are sounded so that each line consists of four syllables of equal length, with a major accent on the first syllable of each line and a subsidiary on the third (there's also a pull towards the second syllable where a word starts there, Hungarian stress naturally falling on the first syllable of a word, so the subjunctives őrizz and szeress, 'guard!' and 'love!' respectively, and the conditional gyilkolna ,'would kill', slightly and beautifully interrupt the flow).

This makes for a very steady incantation like quality to the poem, especially coupled with the marked rhyme scheme.
Try reading the first verse (not too much to trip an English speaker up here – just pronounce every syllable, pronounce the "a"s as short "o" as in English "hot" and the "gy"s as a single sound, a softish "d")

So far, so good. Even so the formal qualities of the verse could equally be those of doggerel, likewise marked by its strict regularity of scansion and rhyme.
However there's something else, yet another layer, and a crucial one, and this is to do with the way Hungarian indicates possession.

As with many Hungarian grammatical features it's done by adding a suffix to a word –so here kez is the root meaning hand but kezem means 'my hand' and kezed, 'your (familiar) hand'.
Likewise with élet, 'life' yielding éltem and élted and szív 'heart' – well… take a look.

This minute difference between 'my' and 'your' supercharges the terseness of the very regular rhyme scheme and scansion to create something which completely inoculates a reader in Hungarian against any tendency to wallow in sentiment, whilst at the same time somehow ennobling and deepening the sentiments of the poem – rather than simply a poetic conceit, this linguistic force makes us feel the content as inevitable, necessary and almost overwhelming.

Here is the poem with an absolutely literal translation showing the grammatical structure beneath each line:


Tedd a kezed

put the hand your

homlokomra,

forehead mine on

mintha kezed

as if hand your

kezem volna.

hand mine was


Úgy őrizz, mint

thus guard (me) as if

ki gyilkolna,

someone meant to kill (me)

mintha éltem

as if life my

élted volna.

life your was


Úgy szeress, mint

thus love (me) as

ha jó volna,

if good this were

mintha szívem

as if heart mine

szíved volna.

heart your was



Note how the poet avoids the mechanical by inverting the order of possessives in verses 2 and 3 from that in verse 1 – there is great technical skill here but it is always at the service of content.
Attempting to read through the poem with its original Hungarian sounds and rhythms whilst bearing in mind this grammatical structure gives some idea of the force of the thing – there's a terrific unity of form and content to the original, which is simply not available directly to a reader in translation.

So here we have a very specific, local corroboration of Sapir/Whorf – the full "meaning" of the poem is absolutely tied to the phonetic and syntactic characteristics of the language in which it is expressed.
This seems to me, though, a relatively weak claim – for in no sense are we eternally "shut out" of the poem – there are a variety of things that a non native speaker can do to appreciate the force of the piece, from reading this essay to acquiring a native level command of Hungarian.
There seem to me to be two different substantial objections to the foregoing.
Firstly, could there be some layer of meaning that is locked into being a native Hungarian speaker – the experiences of the words that go together with growing up and acquiring the language, in the culture, from birth?
Well…perhaps...but so many of the associations of words that one makes as a small child are not so much social, as individual and psychological, to do with the particular personal context in which a word is first encountered. Hence any problem in this respect could equally occur within one language and although it's a position that deserves attention I'm not going to address it here. (Taking us, as it does, outside the strict question of translation to more general reflections on communication in general between humans beings )

Furthermore, as I observed earlier, there is an enormous amount of human life which is common to all societies, though of course specific practices surrounding these may differ enormously, even in this globalised era.
Where there are strong socio/cultural/practical connotations to a word, where the pattern of the individuals acquisition of particular words or structures transcends the individual and is socially or culturally structured, say in the case of taboos, religious formulae, phrases required for politeness, or honorifics, then this will be widely enough noted to form part of any halfway decent language learning programme.
The second objection is that the argument could equally well apply to prose, and again there is an element of truth here.
My response would be that prose is generally simply nowhere near as anchored in the mechanics of the language in which it is expressed – we sense this when we use the expression "prose poem" or "heightened prose" to indicate, exceptionally, that this is not the case.
Of course everything I have said of poetry would be true of this heightened mode too ( the rather problematic notion of "translating" Finnegans Wake springs to mind, although I believe that a Japanese translation does exist) – so perhaps we should talk of 'language that refers to its own structure', or 'texts with meanings whose roots are entangled with those of the language in which they are expressed'.
This phenomenon tends to be literary, but it also appears in the casual creativity of ordinary speech
3.
So the borders of language are perhaps much more porous than Sapir/Whorf and their epigones would allow, despite them being sort of right about poetry.
Indeed, although I've phrased matters here as being a confirmation, albeit weak and limited, of Sapir/Whorf, the actual mechanism that is at work is completely different from the one they propose. Rather than our thought processes being "trapped" in a particular language, literary and demotic creativity use particular language structures in a pretty wide awake way. When they do this, they don't shut us out – from the haiku to the colloquial pun it's always possible to gloss these in order to make a none native speaker comprehend, even if as in my footnote (3 again), it's a fairly laborious business.
A conjecture which might gladden the hearts of amateur and rather bumbling language learners everywhere – perhaps it's precisely the fact of being in the midst of acquiring a second language that creates a heightened sensitivity to these kind of structures.
I suspect this could be the case, in that a native command of a language often renders structure invisible to the user
4 , hence the recent (and horrible) fad for short exegetical texts by those "qualified" to interpret pieces of writing in the "quality" Sunday papers.

I don't want to end with a pat series of conclusions – the thrust of my argument here is against superficially attractive but ultimately untenable generalization.
"Tedd a kezed.." and millions of other treasures come with translation problems attached; these are not insuperable – there are always ways of getting round them, though they involve a little effort, and what rewards in/whilst/for so doing!


- my thanks to Rosemary Drescher, Kato Laszlo Roth 5 and Robert Roth for their help, comments and advice -




mail michael

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(1) I pinched both these quotes from an article by Daniel Chandler on Sapir/Whorf at
http://www.aber.ac.uk/media/Documents/short/whorf.html - the full reference can be found there.

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(2) Geoffrey Pullum "The Great Eskimo Vocabulary Hoax" (1991).
The Inuit languages ( actually rather like Hungarian in this respect) are agglutinating languages – from the couple of root words for snow it's possible to derive lots of other forms – not dissimilar to the compounding I describe.

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(3) In my family, anyone with a piece of litter who asks "Where's the bin?" is gleefully leapt upon with the now formulaic response "I haven't been anywhere". This is only comprehensible to those who know that the South Yorkshire region of the UK, where I grew up, retains, to this day, the informal second person "thou", usually pronounced "tha" in colloquial speech. Hence "Where's tha bin?" = "Where have you been?" and sounding exactly like "Where's the bin".
Of course if you're an American reading this you probably say 'trash' and 'trash can' anyway, adding yet another layer of complexity.
Anticipating a later point: untranslatable, but explicable.

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(4) Whilst doing a bit of research for this piece I googled on "Tedd a kezet.." restricting my answers to Hungarian. One of the sites that came up seemed to be the web site equivalent of a "My Wedding" glossy mag – the poem featured prominently in this. I'm not entirely sure what this does to the case I'm attempting to build.

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(5) Kato Laszlo Roth not only patiently checked my assertions about Hungarian but shortly after the posting of this essay produced her own translation of the poem. It's actually my favourite of all the ones I've read and it's particularly interesting in being written by someone whose first language is Hungarian. I reproduce it here with Mrs Roth's kind permission:

Place your hand
on my forehead
as if your hand
my hand would be

Guard me like
if murdered
my life
your life would be

Love me as
if it would be good
as if my heart
your heart would be

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